A Little Late

So I should've started this approximately 11 months ago and posted periodically. But let's face it I don't come up with genius at the start anyway. So this first post will be about how I came up with idea or goal as it stands right now.

So I guess to start with I should state that I have been celibate for the last 11 months and have decided that I would remain so for one year. Yes that means no sex. None and I mean NONE! So you may ask yourself why would a perfectly healthy, happy 31 year old undergo such torture?

The last time I had sex was with someone who was not important and treated me the same. Not important.  And as crass as it sounds he was someone that I hooked up regularly. So afterwards I thought "well that sucked". I suppose you can only have so much meaningless sex before you realize that maybe there's a reason virginity is such a big deal.

So my mission started out as I'm never hooking up with him again! And I didn't, even after he text me twice a week for a month. Eventually I just stopped responding. So after I realized what the last two years had been like I realized that there was a lot of nothing special going on.

At first this was just going to last until I found someone that I wanted to be together with so that sex would be special again. But there's slim pickings in this city when it comes to finding anyone worth a damn. Yes I realize that's fucked and someone could say the same about me, but they're not writing this, I am. So needless to say it was a long summer. One that was very uneventful, which was fine by me. I think I was still reveling in the productive 2 years I'd had.

Now don't go judging me. I wasn't super whore or anything. I recycled. I just really don't think I cared about any of them. I went through my moments where I wondered why I wasn't girlfriend material for any of them, but knew I'd never actually date any of these guys. I hardly wanted to wake up the next morning next to these guys let alone have them hang out with me & my friends.

So that's how it all started. Wanting something more. Please realize I'm a genuine person with genuine feelings. I'm not some crazy sex deprived nympho. I'm just misunderstood. I'll pick back up tomorrow. xoxo