Like I've said before, I just can't get this dating thing right. I can't decide what I like more "The Chase" or The Butterflies".
The chase is always fun because you feel like you've reached a goal once you've acquired the person that you're after. In the chase scenario you play both the chaser & the chasee. You play like you're aloof and you don't care. But you also give just enough of yourself to keep them coming back for more. Although the other person does the exact same thing. This at times is troubling. Sometimes you play too aloof and the other person gives up. But if you give too much of yourself the other person knows they can have you. And then the guy acts too aloof and you think he's a dick. It's really a never ending game. And I'm not too big on games. But I do like the chase. Really it makes no damn sense.
Then there's the butterflies... awww... cue the birds singing and running through a meadow of sunflowers. The butterflies and sunflowers are definitely like spring in some small mid America city. I can't use Las Vegas as a city because the only thing that grows around here are tumbleweeds and cacti and as clumsy as I am I have no business running through a desert unless a very large squirrel is running after me. Because if it were a large mountain lion I'd first wonder if I'm really drunk and then I'd just stand there and sob. DANG! Sorry had a Michele moment and digressed.
Ok so yeah butterflies. I've always particularly liked the look of the monarch butterfly. PREEETTY. So butterflies>spring> new stuff> love. Are ya'll catching my thought process here? It's all about the newness of being in a relationship or having a relationship with someone. As I've said previously it's about learning the new things about each other, getting nervous when you see each other.Sweaty palms, blah blah blah. But on some rare occasions like my wonderful grandparents the butterflies last decades. They find new things to love about each other all the time. My butterflies last about as long as the chase portion do. Once I know that I can have you all the time whenever I want the fluttering of all those butterflies just makes me feel nauseous.
This is all actually quite sad. I've been told that I actually think like a guy. And that's not a good thing since I think that most guys are assholes. The single, player ones anyway. I don't think I'll ever just be satisfied. I'll just keeping on roaming this earth chasing something I can never find. I'm probably looking for the Holy Grail of love. I think I just want someone who will let me be me, be a freebird to do whatever I please but know when it's time to reign me back in. Shit! I could go on and on about what I want. That list changes everyday.
I really can't think of much else. I'm undecided about what I really want. All I know is what I don't want. And I find out those little things every second.
xoxo
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